So it's been a while since I updated, but sometimes life comes at you, your sister gets married and things just get crazy for a while. But I am still alive, and I've finally thought of something to write about!

Me being a newlywed, and my sister now joining the ranks of wifedom has led to a lot of discussion about, well, sex. Sex is such a beautiful thing, it's one of the first things we hear about people doing in the Genesis story: Adam and Eve are created, God tells them to be fertile and multiply, there's the discussion about how the two become "one body" and Genesis 4 starts out with "The man had relations with his wife Eve, and she conceived and bore Cain". So right from the beginning we have sex and babies, tossed in with sin (if you condensed it down to some basic happenings). The kicker though, is the sin that started happening right around the same time. Adam and Eve weren't perfect and through them we've inherited some bad habits. Unfortunately for us, sex and relationships between men and women were some of the big things being affected by sin.

The Catholic Church, especially thanks to John Paul 2, has LOTS of information on sex. JP2 put together an excellent (though heavy) set of teachings called the Theology of the Body. He outlined his ideas and presented them at his Wednesday audiences during the early 80's. I'm still reading them, it takes a lot of brain power, but so far they are great. I highly recommend everyone to check them out (if you want something a little lighter, find Christopher West).

While the theology is important us average Catholic Joe's need to know more of the practical implications. They generally boil down to a few points.

• No sex before marriage.
• No use of contraceptives.
• If you have serious reasons for avoiding children, the only way acceptable is to avoid intercourse during the fertile period of a woman's cycle (NFP).
• No abortion.
  
• Various other teachings come out of this theology including the rules about no masturbation, no in vitro fertilization, and other points.

A lot of these teachings are really hard for us sinful humans to accept. We're hardwired to be attracted to the opposite sex and to "be fruitful and multiply". These things are very important though to have healthy relationships and the Church has them in place because they guide us to Heaven. How is that?

Well, first of all, we have to have an understanding of how sex is supposed to work. When a man and a woman have intercourse, it creates a bond between them: they become one body. God designed our bodies so that intercourse causes the hormone oxytocin to be released. This hormone is only released during intercourse and when a woman gives birth or is breastfeeding. It's a bonding hormone, it causes us to have an intimate connection with the person we're with when it's released. It also makes us come back for more, it's one of those "happy" hormones (that's why women have more than one child, oxytocin can make them forget the troubles of their labor and focus on the result!).

Now when it comes to the teachings on contraceptives, we have to understand another aspect of becoming one body. When you share the intimacies of your body with your spouse, you are supposed to give yourself totally to them, otherwise how can you be "one" body? If you hold something back, like information about yourself you're not totally becoming one (that's actually a way to get an annulment, the marriage wasn't valid if one spouse is holding back serious information that would cause the other spouse to potentially leave them). In the same way, if you hold back on giving your spouse your fertility you aren't truly one person. Giving up this control is not something society says. According to them, our sexuality is our own, women have the power to abort their children if it's an "inconvenience", no one but us can make reproductive choices. But God asks us to give up the control over our fertility and leave it in His hands. Any contraceptive that interferes with how sex is supposed to work goes against the idea of giving yourself totally and completely to your spouse. The pill causes defects in a woman's reproductive system to prevent ovulation/implantation. Condoms and diaphragms prevent semen from entering the woman. Spermicides kill the sperm before the have a chance to catch an egg.

What people forget, although the Church hasn't, is that there's another aspect to the way God designed women. A woman is only fertile for a short period of her cycle. An egg only is released once a month and only lives for 12-24 hours. In the case of multiple eggs being released, a woman has a potential 12-48 hour window of fertility in her cycle. If a woman has an average 28 day cycle, then she has a potential 26 days where she can not get pregnant. Of course, there are other things that cause fertility to expand, cervical fluid has different qualities that can either kill sperm or help it thrive up to five days (the average life span of a sperm in perfect quality conditions). So add on five days to the 48 hour window, and you've got one week of potential fertility and that's a maximum amount (in most cases!). So what does all this mean for us Catholics? Well, it means that God has created us so if we were to have sex every day there would only be about one week out of the woman's cycle where the couple could get pregnant. Because this is an inherent part of our physiology the Church has taken it into consideration when it comes to family planning. The Church teaches that if a couple has serious reasons for avoiding pregnancy (such as financial hardship, if it would be detrimental/fatal for the mother to be pregnant, if the couple has prayed about it and sincerely believes it isn't God's will for their family at the time or other cases) it is permissible for a couple to abstain from intercourse during the woman's fertile period. I highly recommend that a couple prays seriously about this and/or seeks spiritual direction when considering Natural Family Planning to avoid pregnancy. It is not something to be taken lightly, nor is it "just another form of birth control". Also note that some other forms of this (FAM, fertility awareness method) allow for the use of condoms during the woman's fertile period, this is not allowed by the Church, abstinence is the only acceptable method. Women who are interested in learning more about the in's and out's can check out the Couple to Couple League's website or the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH (she explains FAM, but does talk about abstinence in addition to condom use, it's a great practical handbook with lots of charts/examples/details). There's lots of other information about NFP out there on the web too!

Another wonderful benefit to learning and following the Church's teachings on contraceptives and using NFP is that once a couple decides it's time for them to try for a child, the woman knows enough about herself that it can become quite a bit easier! God has created truly wonderful creations in women and it should be understood and celebrated! I highly encourage all women to learn about themselves, you are a miracle and it's such an eye-opening experience to learn all your quirks and in's and out's.

There's so much more to this topic, and I'm sure I can address it at some other time. But for now, I'm off to watch the other miracles my parent's created. αποχαιρετισμός friends. Until next time.

Yesterday (July 23d) was the 3 year anniversary of my sister Celeste's death (for more about Celeste, check out my mom's blog). While it's a very difficult day for me personally, I feel that it really leads me to think about a topic that often comes up whenever I mention her to my non-Catholic friends. That topic is the Communion of Saints.

We all mention it in the Apostle's creed: "I believe in the Holy Catholic Church, the Communion of Saints, the forgiveness of sins and life everlasting". It's kinda tacked on there at the end, but considering it made it into the creed it has to be pretty important. New Advent has a great article in their Catholic encyclopedia that includes some of the history, just in case you want to check it out.

The communion of saints is made up of three parts (and I'm quoting from memory here, third/fourth grade Baltimore catechism memory to be exact): the Church militant, the Church suffering and the Church triumphant. Let's take a look at each of these remarkable parts (remarkable because they are made up of souls!).

First, because it's the most familiar to us, is the Church Militant. As the name implies it's a bit of an army of sorts, specifically Christ's army of souls here on earth. In case you haven't figured it out, that means us! Yep, we're part of the communion of saints. As Christians we are part of the Body of Christ as soon as we are inducted into the Church (traditionally through baptism). When we are confirmed we are given the exhortation to go out as soldiers of Christ and help bring other souls to this wonderful family. This is a pretty simple category and one that's easy to see. We're "saints" because of the indwelling of the Holy Spirit in our souls and we're militant by virtue of the commission Christ gave us to win the world for him.

Next, the Church suffering. This is not all the sick people in the world, rather it's those who have died, yet have not passed through the Pearly Gates. This is a distinctly Catholic part of the body of Christ due to the debate raging about the existence of Purgatory, aka home to the Church Suffering. Why are they "suffering"? Well, it may or may not be because of actual pain (while there couldn't necessarily be pain since these are souls and not bodies) but rather because of the suffering due to their separation from God while they are being cleansed and prepared to enter Heaven. Keep in mind, there's a lot of mystery surrounding Purgatory and what actually goes on there, how it's set up, etc. And that's a whole other debate worthy of a book, not just a blog post. Suffice it to say that these members of the Body are suffering there in order to perfect their souls so they are fit to meet God face to face (which they will do at some point, praise God!).

Finally, we have the Church Triumphant! This is the club that we all want to belong to some day. These are the members of the body who are enjoying the Beatific Vision, those who have suffered, died and are now living eternal life. These are the souls we long to emulate, the people who we often call "Saint". I can't wait to share that title, can you? Again, this seems a simple distinction, Christians, Catholics or others who lived their lives well and became holy enough to see God's face.

Now, while most Christians can agree on these various parts of the body (the Church suffering being an exception) there arises a debate when you start discussing whether or not the different parts can communicate with each other. The way I was taught back in grade school is this: the Militant can speak to the Suffering and Triumphant (through prayer), the Suffering can pray for the Militant but can not communicate with anyone (although connected through their prayers) and the Triumphant can pray for the Militant and the Suffering, and if given a special order from God could communicate to the Militant directly (be it through visions, apparitions, etc). What's more important for us on a daily level though is that communication between us and the Triumphant.

First, what is that communication? How does it work? For me and my sister (who I know is in heaven due to her being baptized, confirmed and sinless and then dying at the age of four months) it is simply me speaking to her at various points in much the same way that I speak to God. Often, I'll ask her to pray for me if I'm facing a tough situation or a rush at work or just in general. Sometimes I'll tell her I miss her. Sometimes I just say "Hi". She doesn't talk back to me, sometimes the quandy I face is not so hard anymore, but all in all, I communicate things to her that are often the same things I might tell my other sister Lauren (who is alive and well, currently flying home from World Youth Day in Australia). In effect, we the Militant communicate with the Triumphant in a similar fashion to the way we communicate with others in the church Militant. We share things about ourselves and we ask for their intercession with God.

So what is the problem? There are two key points that often come up in debate, which I'll outline here.

1. There is no way to communicate with the dead, they can't hear you, and, in fact, this is forbidden as necromancy.
2. There is only one mediator between God and man and that is Christ (you can't ask the saints to intercede for you).

Let's tackle these, shall we?

First, no, we don't know for sure if the Triumphant can hear us. We certainly have sufficient hope to believe they do, there are accounts of various saints appearing to the living and whatnot (in fact Jesus used that as a main part in the parable of Lazarus and the Rich Man). But what really points to us being able to communicate is the fact that we're all part of the body of Christ. Just as one part of your body is able to communicate with another part, so one part of Christ's body can speak to the other. What you have to remember is that Christ is the head. We're his hands, his feet, his organs that keep things going and we all have our parts to play. And through him, we're able to all stay on the same page. (Remember this image of the body, it's important for the next point.)

As for the second point, we must follow some if then statements. Our premise: we can, in fact, communicate with all members of the Body of Christ living or deceased. If we can't ask those who are dead to pray for us because we are "asking them to mediate between us and God", then we can not ask those who are living because that would be asking them to "mediate between us and God" not Christ. If we are all equal in Christ's body, then we all either can or can not intercede for each other. Yes, Christ is the mediator between us and God. He is the one who opened up the lines of communication that were cut off by sin. But remember the body of Christ? We're all connected through Christ our Head. If I ask my mom, my sister Lauren, the stranger on the street to pray for me, I am going through other part of the body. If another part of the body is my sister Celeste, or my grandfather Norman or Mary Magdalene, we are still part of the same body. We all have the same abilities to pray for one another and to come together before the Lord to ask Him to intercede for us.

This has only been a little bit of this argument. It can go on for quite some time as evidenced by the many debates I've had about it.

For me this is a very personal and touchy subject. I have a deep connection with my sister Celeste and one that I feel is very real, not just me "coping" with her death by pretending that I can communicate with her. There are many things that could be said about this, many things that I'd love to delve into, but frankly, my fingers are aching and this has taken quite some time to write (I went through a whole wine cooler!).

So αποχαιρετισμός friends. Until next time.

The other day Mom and I were having a discussion about my various debates on my favorite message board. I was expressing my frustration with the constant demands for "biblical evidence" of various beliefs. I've explained a million and one times that Catholic beliefs aren't solely based on scripture, we also take into account Sacred Tradition and the rulings of the Magisterium/seat of Peter. Somehow, this either doesn't sink in or my fellow debaters feel that this is irrelevant since they don't follow either of our "extra" things.

Mom comes up with a rather witty, scriptural response. Simply mention 1 Timothy 3:15 "the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of truth." Hmmm, scripture says that the church is the pillar and foundation of truth? What truth? Religious truth? Well what about that next letter to Timmy? 2 Timothy 3:16 says that "All scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching, for refutation, for correction, and for training in righteousness." Doesn't that mean that scripture is the only place we can find truth?

Sola Scriptura (Scripture alone) is pretty much the prevalent Protestant view point regarding how we learn about our faith. Most use the 2 Tim verse along with this bit from the gospel of John "These are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have life in his name" (20:31) to justify the view that all knowledge about Christianity and all the answers to our questions are found within the covers of the bible.

Now, I'm not even going to go into all the various other verses that talk about the church, apostolic tradtition and the authority of the pope or any of the other various topics that override and improve upon Sola Scriptura. Rather, let's just examine these two key verses, in context, and figure out what they really mean to us Christians.

First, 2 Timothy in context. The first part of the third chapter describes all the awful things that will happen with people going evil in the "last days". Then at the end of the chapter Paul exhorts Timothy "But you, remain faithful to what you have learned and believed, because you know from whom you learned it, and that from infancy you have known (the) sacred scriptures, which are capable of giving you wisdom for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching, for refutation, for correction, and for training in righteousness, so that one who belongs to God may be competent, equipped for every good work." Paul is pretty much telling Tim that when those terrible last days roll around he needs to remain faithful to Christianity, not falling into evil. He reminds him that he learned all this from scripture, a handy tool that gave him wisdom. Paul points out that scripture isn't just the ramblings of crazed men, rather they are directly inspired by God, some translations say "breathed by God". Then he outlines what scripture is good for: teaching (others about the good), refuting (those who disbelieve), correcting (those who don't understand or don't follow the rules) and training (teaching others the way to act, similar to just teaching, yes). And the reason for all these things is that a Christian is ready to go out in the world and perform good works. I don't know if I'm crazy, but I don't see anything about Christianity's truths only being in scripture or scripture being the only way to gain the wisdom of salvation. Yes, it's important for Christians to use scripture to lead others to Christ and to continue learning about good works and how we need to act. But this isn't the only way to learn all those things! Heck, what if one couldn't read, as many at that time couldn't? How would you learn about Christ then?

Let's move on to Johnny boy's writings. The 20th chapter is next to last and we hear about post-Resurrection stories, particularly doubting Thomas. Jesus is all "Blessed is he who does not see but believes" and the John chimes in with this closing thought: "Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of (his) disciples that are not written in this book. But these are written that you may (come to) believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through this belief you may have life in his name." So basically John could have written a LOT more than 20 chapters, and he saw a lot more stuff , but he feels that what he has written is sufficient to prove to us that we can believe that Jesus is God. Again, nothing points out to me that this is the only place to learn about Christ. Reinforcing that, if it were true that that is what John intended to tell us it would mean something really important: that John's gospel is the only place to find truth about Christianity, not all of scriptures.

So based on those two passages (which I generally like a lot) what have we learned?

• Scripture is a good thing and has lots of benefits
• Scripture is designed for two things
• Leading people to belief in Christ (John's passage)
• Helping Christians in their walk through teaching, reproof/correction, and defense of the faith (Paul's idea)

What did we not learn? That scripture is the only way to Christ and knowledge. Rather, it's one way to help us, but it's not exclusive.

So yeah, although my Mom and I didn't discuss all this the other day, she brought up another valid point. It does say in the bible that the church of God is the pillar and foundation of truth. Maybe next time we can explore that a bit more in depth, pulling up some other resources to show that Christ left us with multiple sources of knowledge and that there truly are myriads of ways for Christians to build themselves up in the knowledge of faith.

During Jesus' trial he had this discourse with Pilate "So Pilate said to him, "Then you are a king?" Jesus answered, "You say I am a king. For this I was born and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone who belongs to the truth listens to my voice." Pilate said to him, "What is truth?" When he had said this, he again went out to the Jews and said to them, "I find no guilt in him." (John 18:37-38). Although Pilate apparently didn't give Jesus a chance to answer his question Jesus has told that we need to listen to His voice. He speaks through the scriptures, through the Holy Spirit in our lives, through our consciences, through the Church, through our brothers and sisters.

αποχαιρετισμός friends. Until next time.

αγάπη από μια καθαρή καρδιά. You've probably picked up that that is the name of this lovely little blog. But just in case you haven't studied Greek in a while, here's some help. For pronunciation purposes, just say "agape apo mia kathare kardia". Translation if you're still bungled up: Love from a pure heart.

Everyone gets in debates about things. I do it on a daily basis (and not only with my husband). The trick, as Paul explains to Timothy in the first part of his first letter to good ole' Timmy is that we have to instruct others firstly out of love. And not only love for selfish reasons or just because we should, but from a pure heart.

Then let's add on some other things to how we need to be prepared first. We need to instruct others with a "good conscience". I don't think Paul's talking about worrying if your Mom knows you took the cookies from the jar, but rather that you have to instruct for the correct reasons. Not to mention that if you have any doubts about your own knowledge you should probably brush up on that first.

And our final part of the equation: a sincere faith. Don't defend that in which you do not believe. Don't bother because it will simply fall through and you will be the hypocrite left standing there sputtering (although that might end up happening anyway).

So we've got our formula for how we need to be in order to instruct others. And for me, especially, I always need to keep close the admonition to pursue this with "love from a pure heart".

Granted, you may be asking yourself "What in the blazes is she even pursuing with this blog? What's the point?" And that, my reader, is a very valid question. There are plenty of writings about my faith, Roman Catholicism, and plenty of blogs (search "catholic blog" on google and you get 961,000 hits). Yes, I'm just another little RC voice in the crowd. But, dontcha know, I feel like I have a pretty big voice. And I know I've got a lot to say (my mom's been telling me that for years). So here I am, ready to hop on the blog bandwagon (again) except this time I'm going back to my web roots.

Years ago (meaning back in 2002/2003) I created a nice simple website: teenapologist.tripod.com. It's archived there, but only the front page (bummer, eh?). I was full of zeal, young (16), and hopeful that I'd convert the masses to the faith. Granted, my mom and my sister were probably the only ones who ever looked at the website, and while my "articles" were impressively put together and well thought out, there just wasn't the reach. And, I must admit, I don't think I was really motivated out of love from a pure heart. Maybe concern that people would end up in hell for not being Catholic (yes, I was zealous, wasn't I?) or maybe out of a slight desire for web fame. Neither of those things fall under "pure heart". I spent all my time on a message board debating with several nonCatholics about various things. I did so much studying for these debates that my mom gave me highschool credit for an "Apologetics" course (hooray for homeschooling).

Now, I'm older (yes, not by much, but still older). I've gotten a little bit wiser and a little bit more jaded. It's not so easy to convert the masses when their logic and studying rival your own. So here I am. 22, newlywed, still on fire for Catholicism (I don't think I could leave if I wanted to do so).

And yet, I've discovered a passion tinged with sadness. For all the times I've debated Mariology, purgatory, the importance of Sacred Tradition, and many other topics I have yet to convert one person. And while I know now that all I can do is plant seeds of truth and hope they fall on fertile soil, I know that I cannot stop sowing until the Lord calls me home. I need a new medium, for there are only so many times you can repeat the same arguments to the same people. So here in a hopefully more lasting manner, I shall try to impart the reasons for my beliefs. St. Peter said "Always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope" and although you may not be asking, I'll be here telling.

So αποχαιρετισμός (apochairetismos or farewell) my friends. Until next time.